I’ve always loved our intimate sessions. I can’t say I truly loved having sex with him but I think I just loved hearing him being pleased.

We always went back and forth, and later down in the relationship, I learnt he had a “complicated” relationship and a baby on the way, who then became an actual existing figure; a little human.

Again, this wasn’t love…

My period was to start January 24th and is usually pretty accurate. The last time we had sex was in his car outside my apartment complex… needless to say, he came inside and I came out of the car I literally walked with my legs close together to prevent the cum from being visible running down my legs.

I took a Postinor the following morning. Safe.

Until I noticed my breasts started being painfully tender. Not something new to me but it was alarming as to how tender it was. And I was sleeping like crazzzzzzzyyyyy!!!! And I was forever hungry!!!!

It was 1 AM I was in the room and I was like “hey let me see how late I am” as I know the pill can either delay or start your period earlier than expected. It was more than two weeks or about that.
I decided to visit my doc and jokingly told him I wanted to do a pregnancy test.

I did it but I was not worrying. How could I be pregnant by a man who lied to me constantly? And though I was not in love I just felt like I should have been chosen.
I have never ever wanted kids either.

My doc came out and looked at me with the “oh no, I am disappointed in you” look. It’s positive. He said it in disbelief.
I, of course, was laughing my ass off cause again… what? I honestly thought he was joking. Until he showed me the results.

I instantly asked him if he has a number for someone that I can deal with it.

February 14th I found out I was pregnant; February 14th I terminated. Ironic huh? The day of love! 

The first visit was him really just pushing a pill inside my vagina and he gave me two pads for the road and a painkiller and a prescription for some antibiotics and more painkillers. He told me that there would be some spotting at first and I would experience period like cramps.

WHAT A FUCKING LIAR!
My cramps made me think of suicide. When I went back a week after, he pushed a suction thing inside me and scraped my uterus lining to rid anything of the pregnancy. I bled maybe for a month until it got regularized and I started seeing my period.

It was a painful experience. But to be honest, if it affected me emotionally, I can’t say. I have always been lacking in emotions… so I’m not sure if there is an emotion to it that I’m suppressing (which I doubt) but it didn’t affect me mentally

I never once thought what the baby would look like and neither did he know I was pregnant for him for the few weeks that I was.