I remember being called “Ole Jezebel”

The name had rolled off her tongue

and landed like acid in my ears

creating holes that grew wider

as each letter wound its way down my ear canal

landed in the back of my mouth

and left a cavernous hole in my wisdom tooth

I was twelve

I was twelve when I was called “Ole Jezebel”

because of the shiny gold earrings I wore dangling from my ears

—

as if they were beacons

for the men who leave their self-control, unused, under their mattresses

I was twelve when I was wrongly attributed the term harlot (for that was its meaning)

all because I dared to be bold enough to wear matching gold hoops in each lobe

Bold like Jezebel

who was wrongly attributed the characteristic of a temptress —

she was a princess

and then a queen

whose only crime

was to be bold enough

to worship a god she knew

Years later I would

have appreciated being called Bathsheba...

but even she did no wrong

but to be beautiful

in the presence of a king

whose self-control had

been put away underneath a prayer mat

only to be plucked on strings

as Psalms

But at twelve, I knew none of these things

the way I do now

so I bore the acid of those words, “Ole Jezebel”,

felt my wisdom tooth rot and ache

took the gold from my lobes

melted them with my tears and heartache

(What do you know of a 12-year-old’s heart pain?)

I stuffed the molten gold in my wisdom tooth

where it caught and stored

the venom

of misspoken words.

I forgot it there.

I only just remembered it

now I am old

and still bold

wearing what I please

how I please

and someone dared

to call me Ole Jezebel

This time I laughed

A big belly laugh

I laughed till the gold rattled.

Fools!

Don’t they know I am a Queen?

Karolyn Smith was born in Jamaica, spent her formative years in New York, and currently resides in Grand Cayman. She is an author of two self-published collections of poetry and enjoys writing every chance she gets. Karolyn is a constant pen for the universe as she draws on all her experiences to write on human experiences such as grief, loss, love, healing and friendship.

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