On March 6 2016, I found out I was pregnant and instantly my world became chaos.

I already had a child who was five years old, and although I always said that I wanted another child, the situation wasn’t ideal at the time. I was seeing someone, but I was also messing with a married man and after I found out I was pregnant I knew it was not for my boyfriend.

For two weeks I tried to convince myself that the baby was for my boyfriend, but in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t true. The married guy was happy when I told him I was pregnant but then soon after, I began hearing stories that he was a deadbeat to his kids.

So I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant and I wasn’t keeping it. He honestly never put much effort into it and quickly provided me with the money for the procedure.

The day I got the money I asked a friend who had done the procedure before to accompany me. I told the doctor that I wanted pills for a medical abortion but he told me that he doesn’t give pills, he only does the procedure, so I left.

That same night I found out that my boyfriend was married to a woman overseas and then I just got angry and made up my mind to do it.

When I went to the doctor they sent me into a room and told me to change into the gown. Soon after, the doctor and his assistant came into the room and gave me an injection, and within a few seconds, I was sedated. It all felt like I was in a daze I was in and out of consciousness - I felt a little cramping and then I was out again.

When I was brought to the recovery room I was crying and screaming like crazy begging God to forgive me and saying that my mother would hate me if she knew. I was literally a mess to the point where the doctor came to console me. It was a rough experience emotionally, and all I could think about was my first child that had died shortly after childbirth and I felt like I was the worst person in the world for having this procedure after experiencing something like that.

My friend was waiting for me outside and she got her boyfriend to drop me home. When I got home the gates were chained and I had to jump the fence. (Just my luck). When my mom came out to let me in I had to sober up and pretend everything was ok.

For a week I was locked in my room feeling guilty and remorseful for what I did. I could not eat and I was just extremely depressed. I felt like I had to make up for what I did.

Within two months I was pregnant again but that was a roller coaster ride.

An abortion is not the easy way out because you have to live with the guilt but sometimes it is necessary and a woman should be allowed the choice to choose what to do with her body. So as hard as it was for me initially, I am pro-choice. I have grown to be open enough to even admitting that I had an abortion because I know I did the right thing.