Three years later and the pain still lingers… I had just turned 18 and was completing my first year at University. I missed my period. But there was no way I could’ve been pregnant since I took the morning after! I went to the doctor because I was feeling cramps and thought it was a recurring UTI. I went to the doctor within 2 weeks of my missed period and my test was positive (no feint line, I was well on my way). Shocked and confused, I asked him about termination. He advised me that it would cost $25,000. Though I was worried, my boyfriend was willing to support any decision I made. But there was no way that I could disappoint my parents. Are you crazy?! I cannot afford a child at this age. I hardly made it through my first year financially. It was after this realization that I made my final decision to terminate the pregnancy. I never wanted to be in such a dilemma. I never thought I would be one of them to “dash weh belly.” I cried. I heard it was a painful experience and all I could’ve imagine was the horror images of an aborted baby. I was couple days away from my exams and decided to wait until my exams were complete. I would still be within a month.

I went back to the doctor on a Monday. He inserted a pill to allow me to bleed it out. The pain was the worst I ever felt. It was excruciating and felt as if my uterus was tearing apart but… I did not bleed. I went back on the Wednesday and he redid the same procedure. I bled lightly that night but that was it. I returned the Friday and he immediately had me on anesthesia. I had no idea of what was about to happen. I was alone and scared. I found strength I didn’t know I had. The procedure was two hours long. I was partly conscious and could feel the cold metals against my uterus. My boyfriend at the time was out of parish because this procedure was not planned. I had no one to call because no one else knew about it. I had to wait a couple more hours so I could get a public transport to get home. I was paranoid on the ride home. Could these people tell I had an abortion?! The decision haunted me for about a year until I realized I needed not to be guilty and make use of the opportunities ahead.

Three years later, I completed my degree. Was it worth it? I’m still not sure.